I have wanted to write this blog for awhile now. I feel like any blog (even if it’s mainly for a certain topic, like crochet) needs to have moment of being raw and real. This helps to connect to the writer. But as a writer, we all have those people on our friends list that we want to keep in at a superficial level. Most likely they are the people you actually know in real life. You just don’t want them to see you failing. But others want, need, and deserve to see the real side of life, not just the pretty or funny parts. The reason Little Turkey Crafts turned into a business was due to lots of raw and rough moments but let’s start at the beginning.
I have always struggled with anxiety, as long as I can remember. Long before I knew the name for it. It continued to get worse the older I got and the 3 years we lived in New York were some of the hardest. I had dealt with some crazy job stuff and seasonal depression. But in good news I finally decided to do something about it. Enter yoga, crystals, essential oils. I was on the right track, I was finally in control of things. Then we made the big move to Texas and I was pregnant. Being pregnant was surprisingly the time I had the most control over my emotions. Like my family made jokes to my husband about keeping me pregnant because I was so balanced. Louisa was born and things were still great. On to another pregnancy still pretty good (minus potty training craziness). Then Freya was born, I thought I was in the clear for postpartum depression but boy was I WRONG. It hit me like a wall about 8 weeks later. Hanger, lack of sleep, husband with horrible job hours, and a toddler who went full feral. A recipe for disaster!
Now I had a plan for parenting. I would be a stay at home mom. I would have the perfect balance of free range and attachment parenting. Little tv and Montessori inspired toys and activities, I would Janet landsbury the crap out of parenting. Hahahahaha well I think Janet had unicorn children. My kids sleep ON me so I never get a break. Like seriously this photo was taken as I write this. (Even the cat sleeps on my pillow and kicks me in the face all night)
One arm is totally numb. It was hard. In the mental health world we are just staring to be open to discussing postpartum depression but know one tells you about the RAGE. I was in a constant mood of being angry. Then I would be angry because I was angry. Mom guilt set in as I felt bad Louisa didn’t have my full attention, then more guilt because Freya didn’t get to go to all the baby classes like Louisa. I also grew up as an only child so I had zero clue how having a sibling worked. I started to lock myself away. Luckily I have some really great friends who gave me space but also forced me to have fun. It was rough and I knew I didn’t want it to go on forever. I want to feel like I do in this photo all the time (or at least more of it)
So I had to find something for me, something that helped with stress, something that was a creative outlet, and something that I could have outside encouragement. Words being my second strongest love language means something that people told me how awesome I was really helped. That outside encouragement carries over into the rough parts people don’t know about. Crochet allowed me to work with my hands and can be very meditative. Ok, who am I kidding what’s meditative when kids are around. Freya needs snuggles or Louisa wants to play hairdresserThis meant Little turkey crafts was all those things. Something for me but not totally selfish since I make tons of stuff for the kids. or mom guilt would work it’s way in again.
I had already started an Instagram to blog things I made and the occasional order. I just needed the push and weirdly postpartum depression was that. I have received outpouring support and am so happy I gave in and opened little turkey crafts. There are still rough patches but I feel over the worst of it. Lots of exciting things to come and I hope to show more of this side. Here’s to being a better mom to these two crazies and having a little side hustle for me